Lost Soul Obsession – Saying Goodbye to a Great Woman

It has been a month since I have posted anything on my blog; unfortunately, we had to say Goodbye to a Great Woman.

Over the past year, my mother-in-law had been battling Cancer in British Columbia.  We were under the impression she was winning her battle – this was not the case.

Two days after we arrived in Ontario to start work on another production, we found out she was admitted into the hospital with 2 weeks to live.  My husband then turned around and grabbed the first flight back to British Columbia to be with his Mom, along with his 8 siblings.

As a family, they were able to spend two weeks with her and created more cherished memories.

My husband decided to come home to Ontario while she was still in good spirits (he wanted to be able to remember her this way).  She passed away a week later on April 4th which was also my husbands birthday.

As a family, we have been remembering this beautiful soul over the past week and filling our hearts with the Good Vibes she has left us with.

Life is to be cherished and the test of losing a parent on my husbands birthday is a very hard test to pass, but we as a family, are making it a point to remember her in all of the greatness she has taught us.

A strong woman who loved her family; her strength and love is our foundation for continuing our journey to share with you our stories.

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Lost Soul Obsession – Jealousy

In the time that I knew Emily, she was a very jealous person.  She was jealous of her parents for staying married for over 40 years, when she had been divorced 3 times.  She was jealous of all her friends she had, who were in great relationships, and she was jealous of people who had fantastic relationships with their children, as her children hated her.  Every time she opened her mouth to speak, jealousy came out.

Emily didn’t love herself, as she looked at herself as a complete failure and this is where she went wrong.  If she loved herself, she would have created strength to fight off all the negative feelings.  This Lost Soul needed help!

Emily couldn’t help herself because she had grown to love and accept all things negative.  She became obsessed with creating chaos and this was the most unhealthy thing she could have done.

There became a need to hurt others, especially the one’s that were trying to help her.  The more good that came to her, the faster she chased it away.

Jealousy is a disease!  Don not become a person like Emily; find the strength to love yourself enough to be a better person.

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Lost Soul Obsession – Defined

“Lost Soul” – a soul that is dammed

“Obsession” – the state of being obsessed with someone or something.

Emily was the true definition as listed above.  Writing about Emily made me look at her insecurities, which made me feel sorry for her at times.  I suppose that is why I kept giving her the endless amount of opportunities to change herself or become a better person.  This lasted for a while, as you can only feel sorry for someone for so long, especially if they are hurting.  There comes a point where they need to help themselves.

Emily looked at my kindness as an opportunity to manipulate me, or attempt to intimidate me.  What she didn’t realize was I was stronger than her insecurities and she learned a valuable lesson.

Enough was enough and things didn’t change, but I came out of it with more strength, more wisdom, and more love for myself.

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Lost Soul Obsession – Lessons on Trust

While I was writing the first 4 chapters of Lost Soul Obsession, the constant thought I had in my mind was, “how on earth did I ever manage to trust Emily?”  I often read my friends posts on Facebook for example, and when they get burned just once, this is enough for them to not ever trust again.  Emily burned me numerous times and I still gave her chances to earn my trust again.  The door was always opened to continue to trust or at least, work on trust.

I have read often of the “zero tolerance” which people have and I get it!  Trust me, I do get it! However, if you stop trusting right away, that isn’t a comfortable feeling to have while trying to live your life.  So who are you hurting more?  The person you can’t trust?  Or You?

When you do not have trust in a person, the weight of this is damaging to your mind, body and soul; the stress it causes is hurtful to yourself.

After experiencing the stress caused by having “zero trust” with Emily, I came up with a solution!  Instead of saying, “I don’t trust you!”, say “I’m letting you go.”

I knew once “I Let Go” of Emily, my mind was free to not carry the weight of what she had done to us as a family.  Yes, what she did was horrible, however it does not bother me anymore; I have “let her go” with the understanding that she is a Lost Soul.

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Lost Soul Obsession

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.