In March of 2003, I found myself at a crossroads with so many things going on in my life. I was 35 years old, a single parent raising my 12-year-old daughter and we were living with my parents. We had just also found out that my Mom had Colon Cancer and was moving throughout her body quickly. My Mom came from a large family; both her parents had passed away at this point in her life, but she still had 8 siblings. We were living 12 hours away from her family members and with the latest diagnosis of her Cancer, she had the longing to be closer to her family, so we moved back home to be closer to them.
In moving back home, I was also leaving a job that paid $90,000.00 per year with excellent benefits, knowing that where we were going there was very limited work and if I was fortunate enough to secure a job it would only pay me one-third of what I was making, so I needed to adjust not only my lifestyle but my budget. Frightening to say the least, however I had no regrets as I knew I was doing everything at this stage in my life to help make my Mom happier during her time of need.
Shortly after her diagnosis, we were lucky enough to sell our home and move to a new one in our hometown within a month; it seemed like things were on our side with this move; Mom was happy knowing she would be surrounded by her family. The only thing that was left to do was for me to secure employment so that I could continue to support my daughter and to help my parents with all the expenses that came along with this horrible disease.
Three weeks had gone by and I finally received a phone call with an offer of employment with a local Television station as the Office Manager. Things were working out, I had some financial security for my family, my Mom was happy to be near her siblings and we were even able to get my daughter registered in a great school. Things were looking up and we took this as a sign that perhaps where my Mom’s cancer was concerned, it could possibly be treated. Fingers were crossed!
I started working at the Television station by meeting a wide range of people who were so welcoming to me. One lady in particular, named Emily, invited me to be her friend outside of work, which at the time I thought was kind, but little did I know it would be 11 years of pure Hell having known her. At the beginning, we had some great times, shared our company with each other and found to have lots in common. Typical for a new friendship, but one thing I started to figure out quickly was how she was a Lost Soul. No mind of her own, very needy, but yet self-absorbed.
During the beginning of my friendship with this Lost Soul, I felt sorry for her and I believe now this is the reason for why she has been in my life in the first place. If I didn’t have a heart, then I’m sure I would have cut ties with her long before now, but something inside of me wanted to help heal her. Now when I look back at things, all I can do is shake my head in disbelief, but then on the other hand, I had 11 years of learning from these experiences no matter how horrible they were I came out with knowledge, wisdom and strength.
In the beginning when I first met Emily, the first thing I thought of was how beautiful and friendly Emily was. A stunning 42-year-old woman, five foot 5 inches tall and probably weighed 120 lbs, so she wasn’t extremely skinny, but she was far from being overweight. Blonde hair with perfect caramel streaks flowing through her hair and a tan, even though from a tanning salon, made her look so healthy. I remember thinking to myself, she must have a great life as she glowed with the fairy tale of love and happiness. Emily was in fact suffering inside with so many different demons.
After being in my job for 3 weeks, Emily and I got to know each other and I must say we did have a lot of laughs; I believe the environment of working in the Television industry had something to do with this, as I must say, working in that industry was very positive and was a very happy environment. Something I needed personally in my life with everything that was going on. Emily invited me to have lunch with her every day, and would send me fun emails during day, so to be honest, I felt that she was just a fun person to be around, so I had no reservations with getting to know her better. We would laugh a lot and share certain things in our lives in getting to know one another, as most people do, but at the beginning it was something the Doctor had ordered for me, as it brought some sunshine to my World while dealing with my Mom’s disease. I was grateful for my friendship with Emily.
After 3 months of working at the station, I received some horrible news about my childhood sweetheart whom I had dated all through highschool; he had shot and killed his wife of ten years. I confided in Emily with regards to this situation and she was there whole heartedly for me in my disbelief of the situation.
However, little did I know the reasoning behind why she was investing so much time in helping me deal with this situation. The more Emily found out about this situation and the family involved, the more she was asking questions about the brothers of Dean. I thought this was a little odd, but after several weeks she finally came clean and asked if Dean’s brothers were single. She looked at this situation as a way to find a man believe it or not. Emily figures that by investing time in “caring” for the family would be her “in” to starting a relationship. I know how weird this sounds, try living through it!
I soon found out that Emily was sending Dean’s older brother Robert, emails and phone messages claiming that she was my very best friend and was in fact friends with my parents and that she had their blessing in contacting him. When I found this out, I kind of lost it to be honest. I could not wrap my mind around why she would do this and what actually possessed her to do so. Her explanation for this was she felt in her heart and had a sign in a dream that she was meant to be with Robert and he was brought to her through this devastation. As you can imagine, nothing never did transpire through this, in fact it just made so many people shake their heads at her behaviour.
I took a break from Emily after this happened, but because we still worked together, I needed to be still friendly too her. After a couple of weeks of me being cold with her, she then apologized and told me that she really didn’t see any harm in “what her intuition was telling her”. After thinking about this, I started to feel sorry for her – my bad! But I did nonetheless.
It was nearing Christmas at this time and with my Mom still fighting Cancer, I still maintained a thought process that life is so short and we really need to practice forgiveness and so I did with Emily. She was very lonely during the Christmas holidays, so we as a family did invite her over for Christmas as she claimed she had no family to spend it with. She did not have a relationship with her parents and her children were spending time with their father. We welcomed her in over Christmas and had a nice holiday.
Over the Christmas holidays, we spent time baking, giving gifts and listening to great old-time music. We also spent some time going through a lot of old photos, as that was something that my Mom wanted to do. As we went through the old photos, of course Emily’s curiosity about each individual was high and would ask, “who is this?” We would explain who the people were, etc. Little did we know, she had in her own mind shown interest to a certain photo of my older cousin Greg.
It was after New Year’s Eve, my Mom and I received a phone call from my Uncle Frank letting us know how happy he was for our friend Emily to show up and spend time with Greg. To say the least, we were shocked! Emily had taken his name and searched out his phone number and address and went to his house and explained that my Mom and I would like to introduce her to him but due to my Mom’s disease were not able to be there in person. So Greg bought into this crap! She had been there over New Year’s and the first week of January. He took her out and spent a lot of time with her with his parents.
My Mom had explained to her brother that we had absolutely nothing to do with it and that she was lying. To say the least, Greg ended this relationship with Emily and moved on in a hurry.
When Emily returned to work, she would not talk to me. I was the Antichrist in her mind and we parted ways. At this point, it really didn’t matter to me, as she had crossed a line with not only me but with my Mom and under the circumstances, that was not a good thing.
One month later, I left the Television station as my Mom’s health turned terminal and I became her full-time caregiver. That was the last time I saw Emily and I was quite happy with that; she was too much for me to even try to understand and I had too much going on in my life to even try to figure her out.